I sing, I laugh, I mom people, I eat french fries, I watch trashy tv and enjoy it, and I love learning about people more than anything. Read my rants, they get silly. Peace.
— Elliot Reid
And you’re scared, scared of the bottom, afraid of the stairs."
— Gavin DeGraw, “Young Love”
Jamie: You'll still go places. I just might have to carry you.
I don’t know what to do with my life any more. And what’s weirder than that statement, I haven’t really been asked a whole lot. I mean, school and education is supposed to help you find your way. College is designed to help you “find yourself” in life. There are only a few things I ever saw myself doing: becoming a doctor, a lawyer, a geneticist, a writer, a forensic specialist, or even a NCIS fucking agent. Now, with all of those decisions to be made, I don’t know what I want to do. How dare they ask us what we want to do and who we want to be and even imagine we would know the answer. We should just take a train and get lost somewhere. Major in philosophy because we know we can’t possibly make a job out of that. Fall in love… a lot (maybe even make love quite awhile). Make mistakes and decisions and choices we don’t have to second guess because maybe in the end, we won’t have to guess. We’ll know what to do with ourselves. What I want to do is leave my mark, my symbol in this world. I want to be able to die whether in peace or pain and in 100 years past that, have something I did left behind and cherished. I want to know that someone could look to the left and see me, somehow. Someone could jump into the shower and see me as the water pours down. I want to have reassurance that I can be the cause of their headache, the reason to their epiphany and conundrum of life. I can be that small whisper in the back of their head that grows and grows and actually helps them. I want to unblur the gray clouds of uncertainty that happens in the afterlife and this one. I want to say a few powerful words of wisdom and courage and bravery that will be remembered as a quote, a popular quote taught to children as young as the age of 1. To sum it all up, I want to do the impossible that has been done by men and women in the old times. And if I can’t do that, if that duty and job is nonexistent and improvable, then I won’t do anything, nothing that will lift my heart and take my breath away every night I solve something new. I’ll join and become one of you - the easily forgotten, but wanted to be remembered, few of this world.
There is nothing in the entire world like holding an hour old baby in your arms and have him stare at you. He’s so perfect. I’m so lucky.
— Another Scrubs quote to start the new year off right. Alright 2011, hopefully you won’t be as sucky as 2010 was.
I think the thing I love about John Mayer the most is how he has a song to fit each of my ever-changing moods perfectly. I want to hug him for that. Sometimes I wish I could post lyrics on internet pages without looking like a teenage girl. It’s not like I wish the lyrics will somehow be seen by that cute boy that sits 2 rows in front of me and 3 seats to the left in my MTH 114 class and convey my secret message to him subliminally through the lyrics in hopes he will understand the maturity and seriousness of my feelings for him all the while I’m scribbling our names with hearts next to them in the margins of my notes with a dreamy look on my face. I just appreciate good words. John uses good words.
On the way home from yet another family Christmas party (seriously?), I was stuck in the backseat listening to Luke babble about something none of us can understand, but usually ending in “Daaaada” or my fave “Eh-moooooe!” (..Elmo.) and he gently kicked his feet and giggled a bit. And I thought “I have so much to smile about.” No one understands. This kid is everything. He loves music. He loves kitties. He goes “High fiiiive!” and gives everyone in the room a high five. When I hear him talking in the middle of the night, even if he wakes me up all I can do is smile. He may not know how to say my name yet. But when he smiles when I come home, that’s worth it. Something so small can make me so happy. Too bad everything is going away after this week.
I really wanted coffee at like, 9:30 tonight and for some reason I thought “Ok, Crest Express is open until 10 so I can go down and get some and…oh wait.” I miss UD. Not classes. But UD. The road to January 17th without everyone is going to be rough. 2nd semester is going to be rough.
My niecephew still isn’t born. What is this.
…Come to think of it. The boy that sits 2 rows in front of me and 3 seats to the left in MTH 114 isn’t even cute. I would never post lyrics about him.
Just thought I’d clear that up.